Notes:-Quick canal walk tonight. Loving the light evenings with some hay fever but not too bad for the time of year. Sis dialled me into a call with the social worker for a review meeting at Pennine Lodge. All ok and it seems like putting mum back on the dizziness medication plus closer observation seems to be working for now. Also chatted to mum for a bit. Lovely to hear her voice. I think it’s fair to say I am grieving for Mum even though she is still with us. Im grieving a family life with mum which has now gone. Mum the matriarch and the centre of the family in Brampton, the dogs, Knuckleskuds all fading into the past. Felt quite sad in the field last weekend, not just spreading the dogs ashes but also knowing Mum wont ever come back and shes probably forgotten about the field. Im also thinking about Dad more at the minute, think there is some delayed grief there too.. Heatherlea is also officially on the market so another big chunk of happy past times going from our lives. We have lots to look forward too which in some ways makes me feel more guilty. Im quite disengaged from work party because of this but also endless changes in NHP. Just bumping along and will see where I end up. Wish we could afford to retire and ditch the daily grind. Maybe we will win the big lottery prize tomorrow night 😂
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