Notes:-Sunday walk, bit chilly. Sas and I saw Tom yesterday and took him out for some food. Lovely to see him. Feeling much more normal now, acid test was an email from my director on Friday morning which would have ordinarily sent me spinning down. Its one of those age old situations I always seem to end up in… you know the ones where you need to build a program from scratch with no resources or clear direction. This time its the PoV work which has finally got some traction. Its basically the work I did to get projects funded with NHP trusts. Ive done lots of work planning a more sustainable program but no one seems to be listening…lots of conversations happening without me which is the norm for NHP. looks like its going to be taken off me. Updated my director as per the email request, but apparently she is taking some time off for surgery. First I knew was earlier in the week as Im still not part of the SLT and very much outside the camp. Anyway I just dont seem to be hitting the right notes with it… however unlike previously I seem to have more resistance, Im beginning to not give a fuck. If my employer wont listen or keep me in the loop then thats their problem. Everyone needs to have a clear role and I have repeatedly asked for clarity but still find myself adrift nearly 2 years into the role. Basically I just need to sit tight and get paid 😂 as I think there are other plans afoot which Im not part of. Like the nonsense from earlier this year it seems like I have no agency in shaping the work and I feel somewhat strung along, but thats ok as long as I understand I have no real control. Interesting to read entries here about half term trips to Skye going back from two to seven years ago. Seven years ago was the last time we went with Mum in October.
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