Notes:-Wednesday morning boot camp. Had a bit of a hangover this morning. Had gin last night whilst watching the John Carpenter film They Live, which was brilliant. Nice creepy 1988 scifi film about American consumerism. I was feeling a bit crap yesterday evening, having bad dreams again which dont help. Losing the stress of work has been good for me the past few weeks but I am now feeling anxious about finding another job on the other side of redundancy. My confidence is shot and it feels odd not having a career or purpose. Now everyone else looks like they are doing great and I am not. Ive gone from having a difficult but high profile job to nothing with the doors closing on opportunities I would normally have felt confident doing.... I think I just need time and if I can just get through the next few weeks and out of that crappy AHSN I can really focus on the family, have the summer off, recharge, get my mojo back and then in August September time get back out there. With the lockdown easing next monday we can now stay at Mums. Spoke to her on Monday and she was on good from. Planning to go up for some of May half term. I can then go up anytime I like after that, so gain I can spend the time I have helping Mum and Mark.
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